Recent Conflicts with colleages
I didn’t know whether I made another enemy. I should let it go. But HM is quite bossy and always have her strong point of view. She used to leader in another center. I guess that it is so nard for her to adjust the new role, be ordinary educator. She like bossy around and have her own strong point of view. She cannot so teamwork as team. She acts as leader who allocated job around. But it is not her job.
L, my new mentor said that I should speak out when the situation happened. But I did tell her that it was quite rare occasion and you can cut so much staffs and then you expect quality. There was not quality, only survive and it was impossible for one person to watch all clients. H found the easiest way.
Anyway, I didn’t like work with her very much and maybe she got along with S that group. She is very strong.
We had meeting g and there were some occasions which we nearly argued because there had some points difference. I can understand her point and she felt that.
1, She feel that we agree with something together, then I turned back her totally and tried to complain.
2, My point was that regardless what situation was, she need control her frustration and anger, speak professionally.
At the end, I did tell her that I were quite sensitive for any people’s outrage because of past drama. She seemed that she can understand and gave me hug. I felt that her intention was not bad and she will not want to hurt me purposely. It was her character and personality. She cannot adjust things very easily according to her old leadership pattern.
3, I asked her to keep confidential about things which we discussed. Because a lot of people look for juicy gossip and I didn’t want myself become another gossip target in the mouth of bully group.
Maybe I should learn from my mentor and Robert Green also said,
We need judge people less and accept who they are.
I will not hold any grudge of her because I believe that her intention was not hurt me. Her bossy behaviors decided who she was.
Most fancy thing is my social and I begin to ask questions of people. Mainly are about themselves. They can talk and talk so much about their privacy, their house, their brothers……But they didn’t know anything about you. You knew anything about them. I found that it is so fascinating for me.
You look like mysterious councilor and just knew anything about them. But you are live in dark.
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Main Bully character quit her job
Yesterday, my mentor told me that S quit. Actually, I knew a while ago and some people said if she didn’t get her program, she will quit. But it is not official and no people know whether she will. I checked the date and it was 17/9. I showed such joy and excitement that time, when I heard that.
21/10 and my mentor told me that she finds another pace and will leave at the end of year.
From surface, I said to my mentor.
I didn’t hold grudge towards her. Mainly is her swearing hurt my trust. (Actually, I did hold grudge and I hate workplace bully and everything related to her. Now, I understand that Robert Greene said that it is right. When another people hurt our ego, humiliated with us and out down our intelligence, there is no way that another people will rebuild trust and forgot. She brother me too long because of her bully and controlling behaviors and manipulating watching pattern and her gossip, her clique group….
2, I said to mentor that everyone wears social mask, but I feel that I knew true of herself when she was outrage.
I told few of my colleagues about her leaving. All people are so happy. She can finally take her huge ego, toxic and manipulator behaviors, go somewhere.
Main type of toxic personality of colleagues
Colleague S ( Narcissistic personality disorder and outrage loser)
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism.
Lack of compassion: I tend to feel compassionate for people, even though I do not know them (reverse coded).
Illicit behavior: I have cheated on taxes when I had the chance.
Status seeking: It’s important to me that other people look up to me.
Vandalism: Sometimes I think about destroying objects just for fun.
Vengeance: If I am wronged, I can’t live with myself unless I get revenge.
( She hold grudge so long and found difference chance to revernge)
Symptoms
Symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and how severe they are can vary. People with the disorder can:
Have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration.
Feel that they deserve privileges and special treatment.
Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements.
Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are.
Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate.
Believe they are superior to others and can only spend time with or be understood by equally special people.
Be critical of and look down on people they feel are not important.
Expect special Favors and expect other people to do what they want without questioning them.
Take advantage of others to get what they want.
Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others.
Be envious of others and believe others envy them.
Behave in an arrogant way, brag a lot and come across as conceited.
Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office.
At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they view as criticism. They can:
Become impatient or angry when they don’t receive special recognition or treatment.
Have major problems interacting with others and easily feel slighted.
React with rage or contempt and try to belittle other people to make themselves appear superior.
Have difficulty managing their emotions and behavior.
Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change.
Withdraw from or avoid situations in which they might fail.
Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection.
Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, humiliation and fear of being exposed as a failure.
Strategies to deal with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)
To deal with a narcissist, you need to1234:
See them for who they are, not who you want them to be
Set healthy boundaries on things that you aren’t willing to compromise on and remain consistent
Don’t take things personally or fall for their manipulation and gaslighting
Expect to be treated with disrespect and don’t expect apologies
Look for support and purpose elsewhere and surround yourself with positive people
Cut them out of your life if possible or limit contact as much as you can
Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, but there are ways to manage the situation. Here are some tips that may help:
More suggestion to deal with them
Educate yourself: Learn about narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and its traits 1. This can help you understand the behaviors of a narcissist and how to deal with it.
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and communicate them effectively. This can help you avoid getting caught up in the narcissist’s manipulative behaviors.
Speak up: Be assertive and speak up when you feel uncomfortable or disrespected. This can help you maintain your self-respect and prevent the narcissist from taking advantage of you. ( I repot her abusive behavior)
Keep calm: Try to remain calm and composed when dealing with a narcissist. This can help you avoid getting drawn into their drama. ( After accident of bully report, she tried three times to revenge and I kept clam and move on, Find more support from my mentor and another colleagues to solve with issue)
Find support: Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist 12. This can help you cope with the stress of dealing with a narcissist.
Demand action: If the narcissist’s behaviors is causing harm, demand that they take action to address it. (report her at 2022)
Realize they may need help: Remember that people with NPD may need professional help to overcome their condition.
Take care of yourself: Make sure to prioritize your own well-being and mental health.
Move on: If the situation becomes too toxic or unbearable, consider ending the relationship or distancing yourself from the narcissist
If you want to read more about toxic type of coworkers
Toxic type of coworkers in my company – StayHealthFit
Reference:
https://www.bing.com/search?q=how+to+deal+with+narcissist&qs=n&form=QBRE&sp=-1&lq=0&pq=how+to+deal+withnarcissist&sc=10-26&sk=&cvid=773CCFD5031F4A46A943AAA5509A8597&ghsh=0&ghacc=0&ghpl=
