My workplace bully recover strategies
I will write down some strategies about my personal experience regarding to how to recover workplace bully. I will put my reflection under occupational health section.
Although occupational health is area of work in maintain highest degree of physical, mental and social well-being of workers in all occupations. I didn’t find much practical article to taught me how to recover from toxic working environment and workplace bully.
In work, I am so proud of myself, and I am the person to promote and requested my boss to write down anti-bullies’ work policies. But as adult world, there had a lot of grey area. Not all things are black and white. Even the workplace had policies, it will never guarantee that workplace bully never happens. After 1.5 years, I still need overcome some self-doubt and fear and rebuild my self-confidence. But I taught myself that I became more stronger, wiser than before.
Strategies 1 Build wide allies in workplace
Build wide allies, no matter nationality and race.
I used to lonely and independent in my workplace. I only had good relationship with one mentor in the past. I thought that it is good enough to work and went home. I never involved with gossip and another people’s business too much.
After experience 5 members five people group workplace bully, I realized that it is important of build wide allies. I need some colleagues who can support me when I were in attack again in future.
When workplace bully members spread gossips and put my reputation down, my allies can reject to join in or spread. I also noticed that 4 member of bullies and they also used the same strategies and tried to get more allies. Especially some new colleagues and same value of them.
Strategies 2 Choose allies wisely.
I focused on choosing colleagues who are open mind, kind, same value with me, high integrity. Avoid workplace bully members’ friends and close colleagues.
I used to build two allies and they are D and M. From my observations, they all have a good reputation from another colleagues. They are very kind, gentle and nice. They also very warm and integrity people. M, I began to build from last year and then this year she is promoted by room leader in another section.
D, I just began to work with for few months and it seems that she is very nice and kind. We built good relationship in short term, and she also gave me some birthday present. I also gave the favor back to her. During the time, we still kept good relationship for few months till she was promoted as team leader in another section.
L used to the whole service leader, and she step down. But I still kept good and reasonable relationship with her especially she had baby recently.
K, L, J, G are all uplevel leader and I kept good and friendly relationship with them for some strategies.
1, never gossip or involved their private life unless they want to tell me.
2, Beg source of pleasure and joy.
3, Need be carefully over pleased and over flattery.
All these colleagues will become potential allies.
Strategies 3 Treat different allies with different attitude and kindness.
Allies have two section, one section are same level colleagues, another section is team leader level, then educational leader level, then center manager level and the center director level.
Strategies to build allies.
1, For same subordinate allies, I choose to build good relationship with them with good cooperation. Need remind myself and not over pleased and set up clear boundaries. Not people pleased and kept kind and firm attitude. Avoid gossip with same level colleagues. I made some mistakes and I used to think that T is ok and when I had so many bullies happen and used to turn to her and wish to get some support. But from my observation, T is just some part friends’ bullies and T is very negative energy to deal with. She also has bad reputation with upper level. She is not worth to keep as ally. She will never become allies either. Too much negative energy and low wisdom.
a, cheer their accomplishment when the colleagues reached some personal achievement.
b, Listen To them with empathy and offered suggestions or help if they ever ask me.
2, For upline allies relationship building, need keep suitable and respectable distance. Need not over flattery and over pleased. (Law 24 Robert Green)
Become the source of pleasure and learn indirect flattery and also frugal of flattery. Never become the bearer who spread bad news. Never criticize the boss or management level.
Focus on the small detailed of upper class and remember few key person’s birthday and send digital card. The purpose is building good and rapport relationship. Be careful and not over pleased.
Strategies 4 Self-confidence and self-worth rebuild
I focused on improve my work quality and build Unique work style. It means that my work quality had unique style. Focus on build connection of good parents and got positive feedback.
Attitude: use self-confidence body language, including put my head up and my back straight. Never watch phone while I walked. When talk with up class manager, have eye contact and use middle slow tone to describe my meaning. Use less and power words instead of long sentence.
Attitude for workplace bully member: self-confidence body language and ignore attitude. Bold and confident body language when they tried to make drama and with too much personal grudge. Protect personal privacy even talk with normal colleagues. Bullies also have friends and eyes and ears.
Strategies 5 Build reputation again and avoid any gossip, five type of topic in workplace.
1, Personal Finance.
2, Family issue.
3, Negative views and criticism towards workplace, work colleagues and boss.
4, My goal and private life
5, My political view and life wisdoms
