From Robert Green book, 50th of law
I found that this is very useful to guide me to deal with in my workplace and my life.
Aggression, know when to be bad
“As Fifty had learned, talent and good intentions are never enough in this world; you need to be fearless and strategic.”
“If you indicate you’ll do anything to avoid trouble, that’s when you get in trouble.”
Types of situations where you’ll need to be aggressive:
Aggressors. Don’t fight them head on, subvert them, go behind their back, don’t let them know you’re fighting back until it’s too late.
Aggressor are direct and relentless, if you meet their head on, you are force to fight on their terms. (Many times, she came with her angry manners)
Unless you are angry than them, you are generally at a disadvantage against those who have simple idea and fierce energy.
It is best to fight them with indirect manners and conceal your intentions and doing what can behind the scene, hide from the public and to create obstacles and sow confusion.
Give more space for further with their attack, getting them exposed themselves in the process and provide you plenty of juicy targets.
Beware and I not become too active and forceful in response, you will look defensive.
You are playing the fox and lion and remaining cool and calculating, doing whatever you can to make them more emotional and baiting them to fail apart through their own reckless energy.
How this strategy Aggressor link with my work
Use this strategy, she has huge ego and huge anger. She cannot control her temper and anger. She made me very threatened at beginning when she was shouting and yelling. Her fake smiles and laugh are not friendly sign and it is just social mask. I refused to talk with her regarding to anything, I trained myself to have better body language. Such as hold my back straight, never use my eyesight to watch them at all.
For this type of very angry person, I use the following strategy in private setting.
1, Continue to build good bond with colleagues. But not people pleased anymore.
2, At 2022, encouraged Y to report S previous bully behavior. She will not know. Because she bullies Y very badly and cause her to see the psychologist for long time. My new boss also knew it.
3, 2023, She and her friend S to do some bully thing, it also be reported to the management. It gave them warning and they didn’t do much anymore. But they joined with another new staff who are similar with them. They also tried to get allies too.
4, Keep good relationship with the management and try to not complain little thing in case big thing happen.
5, Wrote private email to the big boss and give suggestions to separated workplace bully member at 2021. R second boss may not know because they are her team before. At 2023, I also take bold move and wrote down to spread them around based on management self-interests. — focus on a big picture instead of all petty things.
Passive Aggressors. Take bold, uncompromising action against them. Don’t play their games, don’t subvert them, be fearless and direct in your combat with them and you’ll send them running.
The only way to treat these type to take bold, uncompromising action that either discourage further nonsense or send them running away.
They only response power and leverage. Have allies higher up the chain can serve as a means of blocking them. (But sometimes, I found that higher up chain will never go one side and they will always go middle)
You are playing the lion to their fox, making them afraid of you.
Always show confident attitude and behaviour and have fight mood when the danger happens. Never submit for bully.
Passive aggressive type always made excuse and acted innocent. They will always say that it is your problem and it is your sensitivity. They made you to doubt yourselves. For this type of people, when they have little power over you, it is quite hard for you to deal with them, especially they form bully group. There is so e strategies for this type passive and aggressive people.
How this passive and aggressive link with my workplace.
I used to never passive and aggressive towards people till I experienced nearly one year bully behavior. It made me to use passive and aggressive attitude with grey rock response for certain group of people.
1, When they were in power, even a little bit power, it will hard for me to confront or argue with her, I did speak out what I thought. She disagreed with it strongly. She also uses guilt reason me and made me to think that it was my sensitivity.
I didn’t agree with it and I believe my institution.
2, She use passive and aggressive way to observe me in quiet manners and wrote down a lot of untruth facts in the end of year reflection. It was power abuse.
I only discussed with my mentor, and I said to her that I were not agree with her opinion. I didn’t go further and went to complain the management.
There had two points to think in that moment.
A, My mentor like S to be room leader in 2023 and she said that she was fair leader. For her, it is fair leader because she didn’t use passive and aggressive way to deal with her. For me, it is not fair and she was silent and manipulated.
B, I didn’t want to further because it was all untruth facts which will made my reputation down. If go the high management, it will not benefit for me. Sometimes, it is better ignored than go emphasis.
C, When S didn’t have power as room leader and became ordinary employee, she didn’t earn any respect from me. I don’t need worried anymore and I can use same passive and aggressive strategy at front of her.
D, they mentioned that it is best to team upline and passive and aggressive person only response level and power. I cannot team upline, I only did to write down her name and never want to work with her.
Robert Greene said that never team or work with the people who emphasis your defects and put you down, you will feel that you always fight with that.
Unjust situations. Play the fox, design strategies to win over public support without being blatant about your intentions to upend the situation. You must be willing to do whatever it takes to defeat the enemy.
For our industry, it will so hard to kick out people because there are lack of employees. Only strategy will be stopping this group of people to get leader position, KP position and power position. Because it they ever got it, they will abuse their power and people.
For reputation, I began to change views with people. Everyone look for power and support, they are nothing wrong or right, I need accept who they are and learn to keep delight while watch fool.
You cannot use your moral to judge who they should be. But you need understand the human nature and protect your rights.
Static situations. If a situation has become static, ignore the rules and make your own. There is power to be had in instigating a new order.
Impossible dynamics. Terminate the relationship, leave the job, don’t fight a battle that can’t be won.
