I am INFJ and I will begin to write down some article about myself and including my dark side. The purpose is having better understanding of myself in future and develop my strength and protect my weakness.
I did Myers and Briggs personality test before and seemed to not very accurate till I redo it. Then I finally found that the right personality of me. It is very interesting.
1, I have trust issues, thus I reveal very little of myself. It is so interesting point and I never talked about my privacy, my family and my finance, my hobbies much in work. For me, work is work and the colleagues don’t need know so much about my private life. For this instance, I am super privacy person. If not because work bully and my mum gave me some suggestions to talk about property development in my spare time, no on will ever knew it. Till now, I still am not sure whether it is good idea to share. My intention is kept everything privacy and it looks so fun for me that you know a lot of another people, because most of them love to show off and talked about themselves, they know nothing about you.
2, One of the best listeners between 16 type.
I found that it is so interesting to listen another people to talk. Then I love to ask their questions about themselves, I try to not go their petty conflicts with another people. But I found that most of people love talk about themselves, their holiday…… You can know heaps of themselves.
Then, they didn’t know anything about you. Is it fascinating? It made me feel so mysterious and it looks like you know everything about another’s people, their family, their emotions and their preference and their interest…… Then they knew nothing about you.
Because normally people will ask you, ‘how about you?’ and tried to engage the conversation as mutual….. But they are seldom “listening.”
For me, listening is most important and fascinating part, especially for the people who I really love or cared. I love listen a lot of their daily things and I feel that it is so interesting to know them more.
I didn’t love small talk and a lot of people talk about their hair, their money……especially for the people who I didn’t like it, I just found that they are superficial and drain my energy. They didn’t have any interesting or deeper things to share.
3, Have messy space but organized mind.
I didn’t have very clean room, but I did self-reflection and read heaps of book. Recently, I really enjoy reading Robert Greene book. A lot of people said that his books is evil and manipulated, but for me, he just show facts and things behind scene with cruel truth. If you never experience about power and be bullied by people. You will appreciate the wisdom.
4, I can blend very well with all kind of personality type by adjust myself in different group circles. This makes me look like have many personalities.
I am Introvert and when I joined with a large group of people, it made me so drain. But I did love join in small group of people and just observed and listen. It was best part of me. A lot of people thought that I am extravert and it is totally wrong and I only open very small amount people. I didn’t like small talk and superficial friendship. If friendliness and basic social greeting are just professionalism.
5, Can be sensitive to criticism and very stubborn if I think because I feel that I am right.
Now, I am open for feedback and constructive suggestion with good intention. My new leader L always gave me some suggestions. Some are very detailed. I never mind and accepted all. Because her intention is good and also has some good points.
I hate some criticism which S and her friends gave me in the past. They were not necessary and very detailed. They also belittle me with bully intention and put me down. I became very defend and refused to this kind of criticism. S never know anything about leadership and how to encourage people. She is like machine with human voice.
6.Avoid confrontation and conflict.
This is a big dark side of me and I spend year for my self-development and got it. You can’t not deny confrontation and conflict. People will regard you as timid and always tried to push your bottom. Especially some group of bully people. I need train myself to become inner strong. I will never scare about confrontation and I need be more self-confident to set up boundaries and speak out my voices.
7, Can hardly remember what I need buy yesterday but I never forget what another people said about them five years ago.
This is so true and I can forgive and I never will forget. If I found that this person was not trustful and continued to have conflicts and put criticism on me. I never knew that it will call INFJ door slam and I will close door forever for this type of person. I will cut all relationship and contact with them; I will ignore them as they are dust and I will never have any intention to know them. It happened for five members of my workplace bully. For me, they are just empty body with human voice inside. I have no any intention to know them. A lot of people will say that you can fake it and pretend to friendly from surface. I just feel that it will so tired and why you need fake yourself and keep artificial feeling towards people who you don’t like.
It will drain your energy and I should focus on putting energy and attention to the people who I like. It will very small number of people.
8, Have a long and love relationship with humanity and people in general.
Actually, I didn’t find many leaders who can inspire me. Maybe few of them. I love build deeper connection with people instead of very super facial. I love older people and feel that they have a lot of wisdom and life experience for me to learn.
- Good at understanding what people mean and observed their body language and facial language. Sometimes, know more about some people than themselves. But I always keep low profile. Otherwise, it will seem quite creepy.
I read a lot of psychology book and love them. I found that a lot of hide words in body and fascial language than words. I never believe people’s words too much. I found that they are so superficial and fake. They can say any lousy words and then they dislike you so much.
I am very sensitive for detailed things. I can feel and sense something which without words. Sometimes, it can drain my energy. For example, at beginning of this year, I saw my mentor always talked with one of leader with low voice. Her fascial language looked upset and sad. One time, I have conversation with her about sharing some article with property. She said no, thank you very firm. I feel that something happened. But I respect her and she never told me. Later, I knew that she has serious illness and need have a big operation. I still love and respect her bravery. Till now, she still one of most beautiful mentors in my heart.
I always said many times and probably strong emotions made her so uncomfortable and it also shows that I am needy and depend on her so much. It will such burden and I didn’t want me like that.
10, The famous INFJ door slam is real.
I shut door for five bully members and for me, they are just machine with human voice. I didn’t want to know and care anything which link with them.
11, They can predict the future due to their introverted intuition, They just know because they never stop analysing. They listen, gain information from their surrounding and connect the dots.
I did a lot of research regarding to share investing and property investing. I love reading about human nature and I found that it is so interesting about psychology.
12, Future oriented, they cannot stop asking what is next.
Yesterday, my previous old boss said that I am very professional, and anyone can work with me. It will their luck. I didn’t know how deep they know me. But it really gives me a lot of confidence and know first time from boss about these comments.
I told her that I want to train my brain and myself like water flow. Formless and didn’t commit and rely one anyone. Because nothing will stable in future and you commit yourself into one person and there had huge emotion attachment link. It made me so miserable in the past.
- INFJ don’t initiate something first, either they are afraid to brother the other person or due their passive nature.
I will never criticize someone first time. It is so silly for me unless you want to achieve goal. otherwise, why you need create some enmies?
